Take a moment to read about the WPA.

I shall now get mean. Be warned.

Before I start, let’s get a few things out of the way.

Republicans love their talking points. “Wasteful Spending” is one of them. It’s cute coming from a party that spent EIGHT YEARS driving up the deficit with nothing to show for it. Thanks, fat, white jerks.

Regarding spending, Robert Reich has this to say: “Consumers are pulling way back; investors are pulling back because, why invest if consumers are pulling back; exports can’t possibly make up the slack because the recession is worldwide, so the government is the spender of last resort.”

If Reich is too cheeky for you, here’s Zandi. Read it, please.

The bottom line, more than anything, is SPEED. Apparently Republicans didn’t get the memo. Obama wanted this damned thing on his desk on day one because he GETS it. People are losing jobs every day. And quick stimulus is the difference between a recession and a depression.

Republicans want to stall the bill because, apart from being heartless swine who don’t care about poor people, they want to drag out details like this and call it wasteful. And people who haven’t been paying attention to the TRUE waste flung around by their dear Republicans (in the form of war, corporate welfare, bailouts to billionaires, bridges to nowheres) come out of the woodwork when we’re talking about spending on infrastructure, jobs, health and human services, science and, yes, arts.

This is the talking points memo being circulated amongst the Republican flock (in quotes—my notes follow each) detailing what they believe constitutes waste (I’ll withhold the irony of the inherent waste that was the last 8 years of failed Republican policy):

• $2 billion earmark to re-start FutureGen, a near-zero emissions coal power plant in Illinois that the Department of Energy defunded last year because it said the project was inefficient.

May not be the greenest energy spending, but it is spending, jobs, and infrastructure.

• A $246 million tax break for Hollywood movie producers to buy motion picture film.

Republicans think they’ve struck gold with their catch-all “Hollywood” key word. You Republican lapdogs are supposed to automatically shriek, “Hollywood! Those Communists don’t represent my family values!” and, well, you get the talking points from your prayer books.
The fact is, film is one of America’s great economic and cultural exports, and with lenders not, um, lending; it follows that filmers won’t be filming…

• $650 million for the digital television converter box coupon program.

You may be able to afford a converter box. But some people can’t. And they won’t have a television signal. And if you think that serves them right, then I say WWJD?

• $88 million for the Coast Guard to design a new polar icebreaker (arctic ship).

Why do you have a problem with military spending all-of-a-sudden?

• $448 million for constructing the Department of Homeland Security headquarters.

Construction=jobs. Homeland security was Republican’s baby.

• $248 million for furniture at the new Homeland Security headquarters.

New buildings usually require new furniture. New furniture needs to be built. Building furniture=jobs.

• $600 million to buy hybrid vehicles for federal employees.

This is worded to make you think they’re getting new car’s ala Oprah’s “you get a new car, you get a new car, you get a new car…” The federal government has cars that it’s employees use. It is thus converting its fleet to hybrid. Spending, check. Environment, check.

• $400 million for the Centers for Disease Control to screen and prevent STD’s.

Do you like STDs? You can keep your STDs if you likey.

• $1.4 billion for rural waste disposal programs.

You may think rural is some key word for “the other”, but these people grow your damned food. And they’re among some of the most depressed demographics in the United States. Do you mind if we use some of this government spending to give them garbage cans?

• $125 million for the Washington sewer system.

Infrastructure. Or would you rather have leaky sewage systems?

• $150 million for Smithsonian museum facilities.

Spending, jobs, investment in the humanities. If you don’t like it, go hang out at WalMart full-time and think about what America would look like without humanities spending.

• $1 billion for the 2010 Census, which has a projected cost overrun of $3 billion.

You’re right. Who needs a Census?

• $75 million for “smoking cessation activities.”

Health and human services. Oh, I forgot. Republicans hate human services.

• $200 million for public computer centers at community colleges.

Education spending=investment in career-track job futures.

• $75 million for salaries of employees at the FBI.

Fine. Whatever. Take that $75 million and throw it from a plane over Iraq.

• $25 million for tribal alcohol and substance abuse reduction.

Fine. Whatever. Let them drink themselves to death. We’ll tell them it was a Republican prescription.

• $500 million for flood reduction projects on the Mississippi River.

INFRASTRUCTURE. Um, remember Katrina?

• $10 million to inspect canals in urban areas.

Inspect for potential Katrinas

• $6 billion to turn federal buildings into “green” buildings.

Got a problem with that? It’s jobs AND energy savings.

• $500 million for state and local fire stations.

I’ll make sure and let the firefighters know the Republicans only like them for photo-ops.

• $650 million for wildland fire management on forest service lands.

You’re right. Fire management is SO unnecessary.

• $1.2 billion for “youth activities,” including youth summer job programs.

Why do you hate youth?

• $88 million for renovating the headquarters of the Public Health Service.

Renovation=jobs. Public health benefits everyone.

• $412 million for CDC buildings and property.

building=jobs

• $500 million for building and repairing National Institutes of Health facilities in Bethesda, Maryland.

infrastructure, jobs, health…

• $160 million for “paid volunteers” at the Corporation for National and Community Service.

jobs + community service= double-up goodness!

• $5.5 million for “energy efficiency initiatives” at the Department of Veterans Affairs National Cemetery Administration.

What’s with the quotes on this one? Do you hate energy efficiency?

• $850 million for Amtrak.

Infrastructure + jobs

• $100 million for reducing the hazard of lead-based paint.

Do you enjoy lead paint?

• $75 million to construct a “security training” facility for State Department Security officers when they can be trained at existing facilities of other agencies.

Construction = jobs

• $110 million to the Farm Service Agency to upgrade computer systems.

Computers, in case you haven’t noticed, are a good thing. They make stuff more efficient and all.

• $200 million in funding for the lease of alternative energy vehicles for use on military installations.

Again. Republicans don’t like military spending? When did that happen?

But go ahead and let the wingnuts drag our feet into a depression, because when the spender of last resort (the government) can’t spend, that’s what we’ll get. Enjoy.